Curse
by Mick Howell
Summary: Jaime and Brienne deal with their little bundle of joy. A spin-off of "Fawn".


ASOIAF: Modern!AU

Curse

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing.

Summary: Jaime and Brienne deal with their little bundle of "joy". A spin-off of "Fawn".

* * *

Thaddeus. Thaddeus Lannister. Or Thad, as Jaime called him, much to Brienne's displeasure. Of course she was the one who chose his name in the first place.

Jaime lost a bet, you see.

When Brienne was six months along and poring through baby name books every night before bed, highlighting the ones she liked and saying full names aloud to see how they rolled off the tongue, Jaime had rolled over one evening and proposed a challenge to his lovely wife.

"Suppose I throw all those damnable books in the fireplace in the morning, what would you do?" He asked, feeling a tad irritable considering it was almost midnight and he had yet to get a wink of shut eye thanks to Brienne's muttering and the lamp on her side of the bed. Brienne gave him a challenging scowl with her beautiful blue eyes.

"I suppose I'd douse the flames with those energy drinks you love so much and beat you with the scorched remains of your improvised kindling." She replied. Jaime laughed.

"No you wouldn't. You'd yell and force me to go out and buy new ones maybe, but you love me too much to bludgeon me with a charred baby name book. Why do you need those things anyway? I can't be that hard to come up with a name without them." He said. Brienne blushed a little, but rolled her eyes and buried her nose back in the volume in her hands.

"It is _much _harder than it seems, Jaime. Just ask that sister of yours. I'm sure Robert wasn't that much more helpful than you have been when she was naming Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen." She muttered, flipping a page. Jaime felt insulted for a moment.

He certainly had been much more helpful than _Robert_. But he quickly dropped the matter in favor of prodding Brienne.

"I don't have to ask. I was there when she named each of them. Cersei always wanted a Joffrey and a Tommen, and Myrcella she basically fell in love with the moment she first heard it. It's the name of some local celebrity over in Essos City. A dress designer or something; total fashion powerhouse." Jaime replied. Brienne sighed.

"Yes, but that's Cersei for you. She knows what she wants and she usually gets it. Have you ever seen her debate what to get on a menu? No, you haven't. She knows what she likes and what she wants with no regards to other factors." Brienne said, closing the book and setting it aside finally. Jaime couldn't help but be relieved by that.

"What other factors? People name their children what they want and what they like. No one names their daughter or son something unless they like the name." Jaime said.

"Reputation?" Brienne offered. "Think of Joffrey? That name has asshole written all over it. Not to mention that awful nickname. _Joff._" Brienne made a face. "And Tommen is okay unless you take into account the fact your family has had a million Tommen's in it, and one lost a precious family heirloom while out _fishing. _Myrcella is the only one with a decent name." Jaime did have to agree with her on some of her points.

Joff was kind of an asshole-ish name. Tommen's namesake was kind of a fuck up. And Myrcella's name was a good one, especially in comparison. But…

"Naming a kid isn't that hard. I could come up with a better good one off the top of my head right now. Easy-peezy." Jaime challenged, and he would come to regret later.

"No you couldn't." Brienne said. "You'd just pick something without any thought. Like the name of a celebrity or athlete or family member. Or even something common like _Jon._" She said. Jaime raised an eyebrow.

"Fine. No namesakes then. Or overly common names. Something off the top of my head and totally original." Jaime said with a smirk. "Those are the rules."

"Rules?" Brienne asked. Jaime nodded and Brienne seemed to suddenly understand.

"Jaime, we are not turning our child's name into a game!" She protested. Jaime laughed.

"Why not? It's not like it's anything serious. We're not really choosing his name right now." Jaime argued logically, and Brienne looked away, knowing he had a point.

"Fine…On the count of three then, we'll both say our names. Okay." She said with exasperation and Jaime nodded, smiling.

"One…Two…Three!"

"Volker!"

"Thaddeus!"

Jaime and Brienne made faces at each other.

"_Thaddeus?" _

"_Volker?" _

"What's wrong with Volker?" Jaime asked. "It means the People's Defender."

"What's wrong with it? It sounds like an alien species!" Brienne protested.

"Alien species? Oh come on, Thaddeus is a nerd's name. And not even a good one!"

"I'll have you know that Thaddeus means Gift from the Gods!" Brienne said. Jaime snorted. "It and about a thousand other, better names." He said and Brienne scowled.

"We are not naming him Volker." She said lowly.

"Well we're definitely naming him Thaddeus." Jaime replied.

"Well then what do we name him?" Brienne asked challengingly.

And that's when the idea struck Jaime. "We'll let others decide. Tomorrow, we'll tell people the two names and ask them which one is better, Thaddeus Lannister or Volker Lannister. Whomever's name gets the most votes, we'll name the baby." Jaime said, and Brienne regarded him for a moment, as if trying to gage how serious he actually was about this silly bet. Finally, though, she stuck out a hand for him shake. Her left one, because Jaime's right had been messed up for years now thanks you some gangsters. Shot him right in the wrist. They shook on it and then Brienne reached over and turned out her lamp.

That next day, they had gone into work as usual. They both did a lot of desk work nowadays thanks to Brienne's pregnancy. Before, they used to go on regular patrols around the city like everyone else, but now they just sat at their desks right across from each other doing paper work, boredly awaiting any chances to get off their asses and counting the hours until they could go home.

But that day, they had the bet on their mind.

"Good morning, Podrick," Brienne greeted the young man as he entered the building and passed their desks on his way to his own next to Loras'. He smiled at them.

"Good morning, Officer Brienne." He said. "And you too of course, Officer Jaime." He added when he realized he left out Jaime. Jaime simply smiled slyly at the kid.

"Hey, Pod, have you and Sansa chosen a name for the baby yet?" Jaime asked. Pod flushed. "Well, no. I mean, she, Sansa is four months along, so we've got plenty of time to decide. That's what Sansa says at least." Podrick said. "What about you guys? Have you picked a name yet? For the baby, I mean." Jaime and Brienne exchanged looks.

"We were just debating that last night, actually," Jaime said. Brienne smiled at Podrick and asked, "We have two that both of us really like. But we're having…issues deciding which one is better. Care to help, Podrick?" Brienne asked, and Podrick nodded, looking surprised to even have been asked and blushing slightly.

"Well, I like the name Thaddeus." Brienne told him. Jaime felt extremely satisfied by the look on the boy's face. Podrick clearly didn't like the name. Not that he said anything.

"That's a lovely name, Brienne." Podrick lied. Brienne smiled triumphantly at Jaime.

"Okay, Podrick," Jaime said. "But what do you think of Volker?" He asked. Podrick seemed to put some thought into his answer this time.

"Sounds like a nickname for a Volkswagen." The boy finally said, and Jaime scowled at him, making the boy jump and apologize before beating a hasty retreat.

When he was gone, Brienne smiled smugly at him. "Point one goes to me." She said.

"We'll see about two and three." Jaime replied.

Sadly only point three went to him, however.

They asked Captain Selmy next, who replied Thaddeus was the better of the two names by miles. And then they asked Loras, who replied Volker was better, if only because Thaddeus sounded nerdy.

By the end of the day, Thaddeus received several more votes, while Volker only got two more after Loras cast his ballot.

And that was how Jaime's son ended up with the name Thaddeus.

Or Thad, as he called him, much to Brienne's displeasure. She said it sounded as pretentious as Joff if not worse. But Jaime ignored her griping about it and refused to call him by his full name.

"Come on, Thad," Jaime encouraged as Thad wobbled on unsteady feet and looked at him with confusion. He was Jaime's spitting image, all except for the straightness of his hair, which he got from his mother. It was not yet clear who he took after in terms of personality. "Come on, Thad, you can do it." Jaime called from the other side of the living room, where he sat on his knees with his arms out stretched for Thad to walk into. But his son only looked at him as if he was crazy.

Jaime felt kind of crazy, too. He's been at this a couple hours.

First trying to get Thad to stand up of his own free will, as Jaime knew he could. Then simply trying to get him to walk towards him, as he'd seen him do a million times to Brienne.

If Jaime didn't know better, he'd think his one year old didn't like him.

Which was definitely crazy…right?

"Are you still at it?" Brienne asked as she entered the living room, several grocery bags in hand. At that moment, Thad decided he actually liked the idea of walking and bounced happily over to his mother. Brienne looked down at him, smiling brightly and set down her bags before picking him up. Thad giggled as his mother kissed him all over his face, from his brow to his cheeks to his nose to his lips.

"There's my little Thaddeus!" Brienne cooed, and Jaime collapsed face-first into the carpet with a groan. He could just imagine the look Brienne gave him then.

"Something wrong?" She asked.

"Our son hates me." Jaime mumbled into the beige carpet of their apartment.

"No, he doesn't," Brienne said. He felt her get down on the ground beside him on her knees. "He's just angry with you for calling him Thad all the time."

Jaime looked up with her with horror.

"Angry with _me? _For calling him _Thad? _I'm not the one who named him Thaddeus—if he should be mad at anyone, it's you!" Jaime said. Brienne scowled.

"You're just jealous that he likes me more than you." She said.

"Probably only because you spoil him rotten."

"Spoil him? Spoil him how? I don't buy him nearly as many toys as you do."

"Yes, but you dote on him constantly. He's nearly always on your hip."

"Yes, but you never discipline him. You always give into his fits and tantrums."

"Then why doesn't he like me?!" Jaime asked.

They just stared at each other for a moment before bursting out in fits of laughter.

"Seven help us," Brienne gasped. "He's doomed with us for parents." She said.

"Cursed even." Jaime added in his mirth, leaning over to give his son a kiss on the forehead.

Thaddeus simply stared at him as if he and his mother were crazy and he was the only sane one in the room. Something told Jaime that look would become very familiar in the years to come.

* * *

**A/N: Hey, I hope you liked this. I personally enjoyed writing it, though it was hard to capture Brienne. I don't think I did her justice. **

**Anyways, I thought I might finally make the ages characters are in these stories clear. Obviously they aren't all set at the same period of time. Some take place in the future, others in the past, and since it would be bad writing to just list their ages in the story, I usually just give you a vague idea of what age the characters are at the time. However, do to timeline concerns, I thought I might list off the actual ages characters featured in each story are. **

**Keep in mind, some characters are aged up or put in the same age group despite having more than a few years between them. Please forgive my mistakes…**

**Anyways, here's the listings. **

**FAWN: Loras-21/22; Renly-25/26; Podrick-20/21; Sansa-19/20; Margeary-20/21; Ashara-48 (Due to the many background characters I included in this fic, I'll only include the main ones and reoccurring characters, sorry) **

**MAYBE YOU COULD CALL ME DAD?: Robb-24; Lonny-4; Nasreen-1 ½; ****Theon-27**

**THE MOST ALARMING SHADE OF RED: Ned-40; Cat-39; Podrick-17; Sansa-16; Arya-14; Bran-13; Rickon-9; Jon-19; Robb-19; Theon-22 **

**TOO YOUNG: Ned-41; Cat-40; Robb-20; Jon-20; Theon-23; Sansa-17; Arya-15; Bran-14; Rickon-Let's just pretend he's almost 10 but not quite there yet**

**THE BASTARD: I think the ages are pretty blatant, but just note that by the end of the story, Gendry-12; Stannis-31**

**AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS: Theon-23; Asha 26; Maron-29; Rodrik-31; Balon-51; Alannys-49; Euron-45; Victarion-43; Aeron-40 **

**GOLDEN RINGS: Tyrion-31; Tysha-32 (Like Fawn, there are simply too many background characters, but this event does take place at least a year before Fawn)**

**ACHES & PAYNE'S: Old Jeyne-70; Grandpa Pate-70; Ilyn-49; Irwin-46; ****Gawen-25; Myriad-24; Podrick-18; Sansa-17**

**CURSE: Jaime-41; Brienne-28; Thaddeus-1 **


End file.
